Well, let me tell ya ’bout them 2016 Minnesota Twins. They weren’t no good, lemme tell ya. Lost way more games than they won, that’s for sure. Heard tell they only won 59 games and lost a whopping 103! Imagine that! That’s like plantin’ a whole field of corn and only gettin’ a handful of ears.
This was their 56th season, they say, playin’ in them Twin Cities. Don’t know much ’bout that, but I know they weren’t playin’ good ball, no sir. Paul Molitor, that fella, he was the manager. Guess he tried his best, but sometimes you just got a bad batch of seeds, ya know?
Now, who was on that team? Well, I heard some names thrown around. Ervin Santana, he was a pitcher. Folks said he threw the ball pretty hard. Then there was Kurt Suzuki, the catcher. He caught all them balls, I reckon. And that Joe Mauer fella, he played first base. Heard he was supposed to be good, but I ain’t seen nothin’ special.
They talk about all sorts of numbers, like “OBP” and “strikeouts.” Don’t know what all that means. Sounds like city folks tryin’ to make things complicated. All I know is, they didn’t hit the ball good enough and they didn’t catch the ball good enough. That’s why they lost so many games.
- Pitching was bad: Them fellas couldn’t seem to throw the ball where they wanted it to go half the time.
- Hitting was worse: They swung and missed more than a blind chicken peckin’ at corn.
- Fielding, don’t even get me started: They dropped balls like they were hot potatoes.
They got all them stats, battin’ stats, pitchin’ stats, fieldin’ stats. Says so right here, they got stats for everything. But all them stats don’t mean nothin’ if you ain’t winnin’ games. And them Twins, they sure weren’t winnin’ no games in 2016. It’s like countin’ how many eggs a hen lays when she ain’t layin’ none worth eatin’.
They even got somethin’ called a “game log.” Guess that’s where they write down everythin’ that happened in a game. Must be a lot of losin’ in that log book, I tell ya. And they got “daily lineups,” that’s who plays each day. I guess they kept changin’ things up tryin’ to find somethin’ that worked, but it didn’t help none.
They also got this “draft class,” that’s like pickin’ new players. Don’t know if any of them young’uns turned out to be any good. And “spring/playoff stats”? Well, they weren’t in no playoffs, that’s for sure. With a record like theirs, they were sittin’ at home watchin’ other folks play ball.
So, that’s the lowdown on them 2016 Minnesota Twins. A bunch of fellas who couldn’t hit, couldn’t pitch, and couldn’t catch. They lost a whole heap of games and didn’t give folks much to cheer about. Just like a bad harvest, it was a year to forget. Hope they did better after that, or else them fans must have been mighty disappointed. It’s a shame, really, all that talent and nothin’ to show for it. Just like a good field gone to weeds.
Folks were askin’ who struck out the most batters for the Twins? And who was good at gettin’ on base? I don’t know nothin’ ’bout that. All I know is they lost, and lost a lot.
Tags: [Minnesota Twins, 2016, Roster, Paul Molitor, MLB, Baseball, American League, Ervin Santana, Kurt Suzuki, Joe Mauer, Stats]
