Well, let me tell you, this “big battery” thing in the New York Times crossword, it’s got me all riled up! I ain’t no city slicker with fancy words, but I try my best with these puzzles, you know? Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don’t. It’s like tryin’ to catch a greased pig at the county fair, it ain’t easy! This big battery thing, it showed up a while back, May 2nd, I think. Or maybe it was May 3rd. Who can remember? All them dates is a blur.
Them Fancy Crossword Puzzles
They say these crosswords get harder as the week goes on. Monday’s supposed to be easy, like shelling peas on the porch. Saturday’s supposed to be the hardest. They are all hard to me! More like climbin’ that old oak tree out back when I was a young’un, all twisted and tough! I don’t always get them answers. Sometimes I just stare at them blank squares ’til my eyes cross. And what’s with them little numbers, anyways? Hard to see without my spectacles.
- Monday puzzle – Easy like Sunday mornin’.
- Saturday puzzle – Tougher than a two-dollar steak!
- Them little numbers – Make my head spin!
Now, I seen that “big battery” clue, and I thought, “What in tarnation is that?” We used to have them big ol’ batteries for the radio, back in the day. The kind you gotta lug around, heavy as a sack of potatoes. Is that what they mean? Or is it somethin’ else, somethin’ these young folks use nowadays with their fancy gadgets?
Tryin’ to Figure it Out
I asked my neighbor, Bessie, about it. She’s a smart one, always readin’ them books. She said it might be somethin’ called a “D cell” or somethin’. Don’t sound like no battery I ever heard of. We used to just call ’em big batteries and small batteries. Simple as that. No need for all these fancy names.
Sometimes Bessie, she helps me with these crossword puzzles. She knows all sorts of things. She said this one fella, Will Shortz, he’s the one who makes these puzzles tough. He’s been doin’ it since ’93, she says. That’s a long time! Longer than I been married to my old man, bless his soul.
- Bessie says it might be a “D cell”.
- Will Shortz, he’s the puzzle maker.
- He’s been at it since ’93!
This big battery, though, it keeps poppin’ up. I seen it again, just the other day. September 28th, I think it was. Or maybe December 15th. My memory ain’t what it used to be. Like a sieve, it is. Can’t hold nothin’ in it no more. And sometimes the answer is short, just five letters.
Dagnabbit, It’s Confusin’!
They got these other puzzles, too. The “Mini” they call it. Smaller, I reckon, but just as confusin’. Like tryin’ to find a needle in a haystack, that’s what it is. I tried one of them Minis once, took me 25 seconds, or somethin’ like that. Didn’t finish it, though. Got stuck on some word, “segue” or somethin’. Sounds like a sneeze to me!
- Mini puzzles are just as hard.
- “Segue” – sounds like a sneeze!
- 25 seconds, and I still didn’t finish!
These puzzles, they got themes, too. Bessie told me about that. Like, all the words are connected somehow. Like a quilt, I suppose, all the pieces fittin’ together. Sometimes the theme starts right at the beginning, in the first square. They call it 1-Across. Like hittin’ a brick wall right off the bat!
Big Battery and Other Clues
This big battery clue, though, it’s a real head-scratcher. I keep seein’ it, and I still ain’t sure what it is. Maybe it’s that “D cell” thing Bessie was talkin’ about. Or maybe it’s somethin’ else entirely. These crossword puzzles, they like to trick you, you know? Like them riddles we used to tell as kids.
I remember one time, there was a clue about sign language. Now, I don’t know nothin’ about sign language. But Bessie, she did. She said it was some kinda hand gesture, somethin’ about a fist and some fingers stickin’ out. Means “I love you,” she said. Well, ain’t that somethin’? Learnin’ somethin’ new every day, even from these darn crossword puzzles!
- Sign language clue – about love.
- Fist and fingers – who knew?
- Learnin’ somethin’ new every day.
Still Ponderin’ on that Big Battery
Well, I reckon I’ll keep on tryin’ with these puzzles. Even if that big battery keeps stumpin’ me. It’s good for the mind, they say. Keeps you sharp. Like a well-honed knife, ready to slice through any problem. Or at least, that’s what Bessie says. And she’s usually right about these things. Maybe one of these days, I’ll finally figure out what that darn big battery is. Until then, I’ll just keep on guessin’. And hopin’ I don’t run out of ink in my pen!
