Alright, buckle up, because I’m about to walk you through my attempt at recreating La Parka’s signature spear. Let me tell you, it was a wild ride.
So, it all started with me watching some old WCW matches. La Parka was always a favorite, and that spear of his? Brutal and beautiful. I thought, “Hey, I can probably do that!” Famous last words, right?
Step 1: The “Research” (aka YouTube binge). I spent a good couple of hours watching La Parka highlights, focusing on the spear. Slow-mo, different angles, the whole shebang. I thought I had it down. I was wrong.
Step 2: Finding a willing victim (my buddy, Dave). Dave’s a good sport, always up for some dumb fun. I pitched him my brilliant idea: I’d be La Parka, he’d be… well, whoever La Parka was spearing at the time. He agreed, probably because he thought I was joking.
Step 3: The First Attempt (the faceplant). Okay, so I charged at Dave, lowered my shoulder like I thought La Parka did, and… ate dirt. Seriously, I completely whiffed it and faceplanted. Dave was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. Not a good start.
Step 4: Adjusting the Strategy (slightly less dumb). After reviewing the faceplant video (yes, we filmed it), I realized a few things. My angle was off, my shoulder wasn’t low enough, and I was basically running into Dave like a toddler. So, I tried to focus on driving through him instead of just… falling.
Step 5: The Second Attempt (the shoulder to the gut). Better! This time, I actually made contact. But instead of a devastating spear, I delivered a solid shoulder to Dave’s gut. He doubled over, winded, but still laughing. Progress, I guess?
Step 6: More Adjustments (thinking like La Parka… sort of). I realized I needed to be more explosive, more committed. And I had to actually aim for his midsection. Plus, I needed to sell it! I mean, come on, it’s La Parka!
Step 7: The Third Attempt (the closest thing to a spear). Okay, this time, it actually resembled a spear. I charged, lowered my shoulder, drove through Dave, and… he stumbled back a few steps. Not a perfect spear by any means, but definitely not a faceplant or a gut-punch. We watched the video back, and it was… passable. He still didn’t fly back like the people that La Parka was spearing, but hey. baby steps.
Step 8: Acceptance (I’m no La Parka). Look, I’m never going to be La Parka. But I did learn a valuable lesson: wrestling moves are harder than they look. And probably best left to the professionals. Also, Dave owes me a beer for letting me use him as a human battering ram.
- What I Learned:
- Spearing someone is harder than it looks
- Aiming is important
- Don’t try this at home (seriously)
Final Thoughts: While I didn’t quite nail the La Parka spear, it was a hilarious afternoon. I got some exercise, Dave got a good laugh (and a bruised rib, probably), and we have some quality blooper footage. Maybe I’ll stick to watching wrestling instead of trying to recreate it. Until next time folks!
