Well, let me tell ya ’bout this fella, Sammy Sosa. They say he’s a wrestler, but I ain’t never seen him wrestle no one. Maybe he’s one of them secret wrestlers, you know, the kind that wrestle in the dark or somethin’. Sammy Sosa, that’s his name, they say. Sounds like a fancy name, not like the names we got ’round here, like Billy Bob or Mary Sue.
Now, they also say this Sammy Sosa fella, full name is Samuel Peralta Sosa, is a baseball player. Now, baseball, that’s somethin’ I know a little bit about. Used to watch my grandpappy play it back in the day. Hit them balls real far, he did. This Sammy Sosa, they say he hit balls even farther than my grandpappy. They call him “Slammin’ Sammy” and “Say it Ain’t Sosa”. Sounds like he was quite the hitter, this Sammy.
- They say he hit, like, 60 home runs in a season. Now, I don’t know what a home run is exactly, but it sounds like it’s somethin’ good. Like when you hit a nail right on the head, first try.
- And they say he did that 60 home runs thing, not just once, but three times! My goodness, that’s a lot of hittin’. Must’ve had arms like a blacksmith, this fella.
- He played for the Chicago Cubs, a team, I guess. I don’t know much about teams. But the Chicago Cubs, I heard they weren’t very nice to him. They “threw me into the fire” he said, whatever that means.
But then, they say he got caught cheatin’. Used a corked bat, they say. Now, I don’t know what a corked bat is, but it sounds like cheatin’ to me. Like puttin’ rocks in your pockets when you’re weighin’ potatoes. Not right, that ain’t. They caught him on June 3, 2003 in a game against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. After that, things weren’t the same and the Chicago Cubs and Sammy Sosa remain estranged.
Born way back on November 12, 1968, in a place called San Pedro de Macoris, Dominican Republic, he wasn’t from around these parts. Makes sense he’d have such a fancy name. This fella is 55 years old now, probably too old to be wrestlin’ or hittin’ balls, I reckon. Though, some folks say he’s still hittin’ balls, just not for the same team.
They say he was a real hero, though. Started a Sammy Sosa Foundation to help folks out. That’s good, I guess. Help folks in need, that’s what we’re supposed to do. He even won somethin’ called the National League MVP in 1998. Must’ve been real good at hittin’ that ball.
He’s got other fellas with the same last name, too, that are doin’ alright for themselves. Like Edmundo Sosa, he is playin’ baseball too and apparently he is from Panama. Good for him, I say.
Now, I heard tell there’s another Sammy Sosa, a wrestler fella. Maybe it’s the same Sammy Sosa, maybe not. I get confused with all these names and places. They show videos of him, this other Sammy Sosa, wrestling in high school, I think. Something about Idaho USA Wrestling Events. It’s all a bit much for an old woman like me. Maybe they got the fellas mixed up, or maybe Sammy just decided to try his hand at wrestlin’ after he was done hittin’ balls. Who knows? All I know is that both of these Sammy Sosa fellas seem to be pretty famous, one for hittin’ balls and one for grapplin’.
He was a seven-time All-Star and six-time Silver Slugger, they say. Finished his career with 609 home runs and 1667 RBIs. Don’t rightly know what those are, but they sound important. This Sammy Sosa, whether he’s hittin’ balls or wrestlin’, he sure made a name for himself. This is the path Sammy Sosa traveled to find the most precious parts of his game, his name and his fame, and it used to be such a clean, clear stretch of real estate. And that’s all I gotta say about that.
